Intake
Hi, I'm Jill. I will be setting up all your future appointments and reminders for Rubber Room. Don't worry... if you forget I will remind you... So, you're the new person around here. I've been here so long that I've seen people come and go... and sometimes make their way back again. There was Tommy, Ronny, Joe, woah? No... it was Jamal, the guy on call Jacob and Jay, what's today? Anyway, there was Ray, Harry, Arry, Tamika, Meeka, Eureka! I forgot Timmy, Jimmy and Tommy, Donnie then Joe, then Hamchop. Yeah, Hamchop, I gotta stop, I think that was his name. Did I say Joe yet? Anyway, welcome to the Rubber Room. We'll be seeing a lot of each other. 
Hey, I'm orderly Jim. Don't worry I'll show you to your room. The walls can look rough, but it isn't so bad. And don't worry about Doc Roomie he's just trying to pick at your brain. He always does that, it's his way of showing he cares. They don't call him Doctor Noggin Knocker for no reason. I hope you like peas. 
I'm the guard on Nightwatch around here. The names Willie, nice to meet Cha. You'll be seeing me wander up and down yere halls, strolling on night duty. Listen... It can be spooky at night around here. If you hear any knocks or pings, give me a holler. Most of the time it's just them damn sewer rats coming up for a thanksgiving nibbling. Them little buggers swooped in and stole my damn peas! I swear, I turned my head for a second then poof. He... he... he... I'm used to this place now. Just don't go escaping on me. 
Open Wide, say ahhhhhh. Let me see those teefies. Wow, you eat a lot of candy?! How are you even eating candy anyway? We don't supply candy here?? The candy machine has been busted for over 5 years now... Interesting... When are your visits with your family?? Every Tuesdays and Wednesdays, right? Ok, we're going to make it every Tuesday from now on. Are you still with the same insurance company? 
Step into my office, I'd like to see you now, have a seat on the floor. So... what are you doing here? Can I get you a coffee or a snack? Sometimes I sit on 2 books for maximum comfort. Just a moment... Orderly JIM! Bring in some fresh "PEAS NOW"! Listen, I make things happen around here. When I flick my 2 fingers it makes a snap sound. I'm what you call the HQ guy. Harry Quasimodo at your service. 
Meet Pota, my little homie. Even though he looks like a potato he was my friend. I made him with googly eyes and a marker! Then I went away to padded cell land and yep, he was abandoned. But in a sheer stroke of luck, I met Willie. Who the heck is Willie you say? He was the guard on night duty. So, I asked Willie, "Will You Bring Pota to Me?". I asked him for weeks over and over. I was starting to sound insane! I told him I had a potato friend. He Thought I lost it or something. Eventually Willie gave in and retrieved Pota and we bonded like never before. I even took him home with me where he lived for about 5 months. Love you little bro.